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Thursday, August 24, 2006

Bear shit, true or false?

God I hope so, I've been in the woods and have trodden in some. I don't know if its the combination of Acorns and Berries, but its defeniatly sticky. Some times I wonder if NASSA should use it to glue the tiles to the space shuttle or Coop strengthen its supermarket carrier bags. Unibond should test the stuff to back up the the No Nails products, affectionatly known as 'No Hope'. Suggestions for this remarkable natural resource, leave them in the usual place. If you find the product on your travels leave it where it is, walk swiftly away keeping an eye over your shoulder. OK, BooBoo?

Sunday, August 20, 2006

Lethal Blog

The majority of this country believes that the state shall not take life in retribution for crime. As more attempts are made to kill on mass by Terrorist action. There is a shift in general thought to reintroduce capital punishment, to discourage further attempts on the UK. It was first thought the main offensive were subjects of Muslim countries. We now know that we are dealing with a home bred, possibly a second or third generation British subjects of Muslim faith. Should we protect our country, society and laws with this definite action? (Comments please) Like Bush’s America? The USA has been shocked in to severe paranoia that federal system declared war on its own electorate, who in turn are prepared to bring back the ultimate punishment with some of the 50 states looking at a rival of law or like Florida considering an upgrade from electrocution affectionately known as ‘Old Sparkey’ to some thing more humanitarian. Its astounding that that a attitude so flippant to annihilation on such elderly apparatus by the sunshine state. That’s the same is even bothering to look for a softer option. Its confusing that they never entertained the deregulation while becoming the number one for children’s amusements.
Guerrillas in our midst. It’s not new for a country to be invaded in such away, as most of us expect the perpetrators to be of another nationality, it offers a comfortable distance. If it is decided that we introduce the death penalty for terrorist extreme action how the individual would be dispatched? Do we choose a method that involves a method that in spire’s a satisfaction, or should we look into a military method, the firing squad? But would that serve the satisfaction of a martyr’s death, Messy, and an indelible damage to the officers and men, who have to perform a destructive deed. There is lethal Injection of course, simple, humane, economical, and impersonal. What should it be? (comments please) What ever method is chosen, should the state decide to descend to barbarism. The trail and the execution must be done with no publicity, no promise of pardon or appeal and no detainment before death. Once the sentence is past a period of six hours must elapse. This may seem a bit harsh but the victims of crime or war were given no chance to prepare themselves. Its unfortunate the society has to consider and take such drastic action. Is there another way to get the message across? Comments Please.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Dibnah, the man, the booze, the women and fags.

In Fred Dibnah, the BBC, at that time were desperately searching for a working class hero to help 'them, top north' to recognise the Corporation. Fred had the lot, He drank, he smoked and carried the usual cross that we all say, 'the wife'. Fred was genuine what ya saw is what ya got. He was typical. Us hoity toity southerners, could look down our noses one minute, while he happily but ignorantly put the spanner in the works of his own relationships by failing to recognise, the value of his woman folk around him and how we were all surprised that his missus did not take him to the cleaners and how we all wanted to know the name of his divorce lawyer, who served him so well, and appeared to continue to do so when we heard that his second marriage had failed. We all felt that the second lass had her head screwed on right and understood that would never change, but would bare the cross, that’s how much we were all involved. Alas Fred tried the patients of yet another saint. Yet on the other hand Fred would have all the us lads shifting uncomfortably in our armchairs as chimney after chimney would tumble, watch Fred tirelessly climb his ladders then with cold chisel and hammer work his way down again, On several reruns of the show, we got to see how nimble and what a fine turn of speed Fred had when chased by a falling brickwork. This is where we all learn to talk in broad Bolton'ese and say "due liiike that"? With a Old Holborn roller stuck to bottom lip. Fred was a Gem, he was every young mans rascally Uncle. His respect for man kind and a craftsman’s abilities, were lessons for us all, one show proudly being shown the regeneration of a beam engine, another showing respect for a man of the cloth, or simply explaining how he cocked up some engineering thingy that only the doyenne of Dibnah would understand. Fred had his own style, a cloth cap which rotted on his head, working mans overalls and steel toe capped, hard soled boots, black and shiny, would make you wince with imaginary pain from the vilest of blisters one thought Fred must have suffered from wearing the things and of course when Fred retired, he awarded him self a gold watch chain. Tradition that’s what Fred was all about. Its amazing that the Guinness advert people did not pick up on him, after he drank the stuff after a hard days graft, His demographic was clear after all he attracted young and old a like. Dibnah’s Appreciation Societies form Penzance to the Orkneys would pay handsome to have the opportunity to listen to Fred and poor beer down his throat, Fred very rarly bought a pint. But the Guinness people preferred to spend their money on arty farty Bergmann like adverts. Boddingtons missed out completely so on and so forth. Tobacco companies blah blah blah. Fred could have made a mint and done up more steam engines, possibly enhanced his local heritage So when the idea of a night club to be opened in a sea side town populated in winter and summer by habitual northerners what better name Dibnah’s, Fred was a mans man, no Nancy boys, a Mecca for the young men who imitate Fred with cloth cap boots and moustache. Lots of beer, rollups, and pies, crisp and pickled onions and of course Dibnah’s Dollys. Mature ladies of experience or young and inexperienced; don’t think Fred would not have minded either way. Support the Dibnah Experience, comment below support for a Dibnah day where we can go round smelling of our Granddads of Beer, Tobacco and Coal and be appreciated by real woman, who say “eeeee yer remind me of me Dad?. “I’ll tell eee yer in there son? “nah watta mean like?.

Wednesday, August 09, 2006


If you feel the same way as we do.

Deep in your heart, you know, you can protect those around you and trust your right arm and your courage to look after others. You know, you are a Knight. If your children or those that love you, feel safe and secure in your presence. Then and there is no doubt. you are a Knight of the Temple. Welcome and be secure amongst friends. Be sure that your heart and mind will be appreciated, respected, and welcome with your many brothers and sisters that daily join us. Share your knowledge and learn with us. Leave you email address in the comments box, along with your questions. A Knight will contact you.

Knights Templers, The Code, The Graal.

Sunday, August 06, 2006

Find Maria Rip Off Blog

Finding a Maria? My bottom, what a blatant con, Bryony, the knock kneed girl, who is worryingly bi polar, is a ringer, just to pep up a bogglingly boring talent show. Poorly presented. By a little Irish queer who has a face like a punched pig and about as entertaining as erupted carbuncle. The programme is clearly designed to con the coppers out of the pathetic viewer, by invitation to dial in a vote. Perhaps feel gratified you might have made a difference. This is the talentless seeking the almost talentless. No wonder Lord Creepy is panicking about the selections.

The bossy lesbo matrons at the BBC have fitted us up again and guess what we deserve it. We pay a licence fee, for what? Watch ailing celebs fall off Horses and again spend our hard earned shirt buttons on a vote that is manipulated. We rolled over when hapless hags closed Top of the Pops, because they could see no way of raising ‘vote income’ from it. Spend your money on a favourite charity. This is television without substance, couth or skill.

Nazi Brother Blog

Congratulations to AOL PageMaker’s, the Editor must have been so pleased. Normally I avoid doing the poll thing, yes, no or simply don’t give a flying Corgi. But this one just had to be done, it was AOL’s Big Brother Boredom Poll, and for the first time, I found myself in agreement with others Yes it is bloody tedious. In fact the whole concept of the voyeur programme is mind rotting. My cat has more fun watching the dog go through several contortions trying to lick its itchy ring piece (its hilarious when he tries to do it on polished floor). What’s the fascination? Are we that dumbed down? That we appreciate the stimulation of watching sexual deviants coerce the moral and ethical behaviour of the other housemats (I meant house mats). The current load of misfits, are an effective emetic. Which is, a positive, but the only one I want to admit to? What is concerning, is the pretence that the programme makers take note of the votes. I want to see the megla weirdo’s who run this rubbish in the house then I can vote then into the nearest corporation gas chamber. These people take advantage of the hopeful and the self obsessed, play god and humiliate, and that’s the audience. The housemates get it easy. Like a zoo they get top medical cover and quality feed, as and when they perform to the satisfaction of the programmes producers. I am surprised they have not got round to darting the poor bastards in the arse when they are wanted in the video room as extra entertainment (BBC have been showing zoo vets do it for years) The show is a Nazi’s dream, punishment and control, deselection and deprivation. What will the viewer be lulled into witnessing next? I know, select a manic depressed schizoid psychopath with a mega esteem problem, supply some cheese wire and every time he or she bumps off a house mate they get a Fortnum and Mason’s food hamper. Dr Mengaley, the Nazi who experimented on children would be so proud. This programme is a perfect test bed for commercial psychologist to try out their theories, with each little task a test for behaviour and reaction. Rewards are the temptation and the power. Big Brother, like the Nazi Mengaley is an abuse. Email or text the Big Brother. Tell them they are abusers.

Friday, August 04, 2006


"I wanna see every single pair of hands, in the place, clapping".

George, instructing audience at a Queen gig.

"I wanna see every body cuffed and your name given to the officer when you leave this men's bathroom".

Officer Goodyear, instructing, fun seeking Bum Bandits at the Central Park Gay Pride fest.

On both occasions, there was a lot of clapping.

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Lyse Doucet. A New Star over Bethlehem

Lyse Doucet. A star of the Middle East. First seen on our screens anchoring the round two of the Iraq conflict from a Israel, She’s not a glamour puss but defiantly tops the pops as the thinking mans crumpet. Her distinct French Canadian accent cracks like a whip across the poorest of satellite connections, Lyse would be the first to admit she prefers radio. She has never let the BBC News viewer down with her local knowledge of the situation, and never hesitate to go for the big interview and offers the same quality with street interviews. Her experience as a stringer for the BBC World Service, in Africa set this unique style and pattern. Her current work with the Israeli, Lebanon crisis is exemplary, she is able to talk with the Israeli Military and is appreciated as a true Journalist and broadcaster. Holder of a silver Sony and broadcaster of the year award. Lyse is a specialist on the continent of Africa, the Middle East, and liaising, reporting with both side of a military conflict. Admirers of Lyse and her work hope she will be rewarded, Her growing fan club seem to think so. She deserves a Nobel prize for aiding peace.
Born in New Brunswick, eastern Canada, Lyse has a Master's Degree in International Relations from the University of Toronto and a BA Honours Degree from Queen's University at Kingston. She also holds an honorary doctorate in Civil Law from King's University in Halifax, Nova Scotia.
She lives in Jerusalem, but has operated in Afghanistan, Iran, Jordan and many of the world Middle Eastern trouble spots.