A Blog to eternity.

I found the cat, dead behind the TV this morning. I seem to remember hearing a loud bang during the night, and I remember waiting for the dog to voice his opinion. No warning from him so I must have eased back into my slumber. The cat was an efficient killer, in the spring time, like Genghis Kahn it would set up an awesome campaign against fledglings, leave evidence of slaughtered rodents on the garden path for you to skid and slide on during the dash in the rain to the car, and during its rare charitable moments bring in a half dead baby rabbit for us to look after, bring back to health and murder it later in a fit jealousy, it reminded me of my first mother inlaw.

There’s no denying it we all have our morning rituals mine is TV on for the news, I like to watch BB1 for an unbiased view on the world. Then flick to CNN for the truth then over to Fox just to see how they slant the same story, just to keep American voters comfortable and finally a dip into the European scene to fine out who is going to be rear ended by the French. By that time the water has boiled for a body slamming slug of  fair-trade Zanzibar Coffee that really comes from Kenya. Well neither happen, the fuses had tripped and continued to trip. By a process of elimination worthy of Inspector Lynley and his chwowa look alike (well she does it the eyes) side kick. I discovered what was making the house trip out was the TV. With the result the dead cat, and the strong odour  of cats piss. Well Havers, its obvious the cat took a wazz behind the TV , while it was on standby. Pussy got its arse fried and is now stiff as a piece of MDF. I have had my coffee, made a mental note to write to the Kenyon Ambassador , made arrangements with Mr Dixon and his amazing shed of Japanese consumables, to rush round the latest in High Definition as the insurance is koffing up for it. Finally and with all sensitivity dispose of the demised moggy. Bin bag for a shroud and internment or a Tibetan style funeral. I think the dog will be quietly delighted after all it was not our cat.