An unwanted copy of ‘the mirror’ slithered like pit viper on to my door mat and in the process shed it guts of scratch and some thing bloody awful and a revised Argos catalogue which offered us the opportunity to buy some Elizabeth Duke chav baubles or a garden shed suitable to set up a meth lab. I have often thought how influential the Argos catalogue is, I live in a one horse town with only three legs and am often referred to this trader by local shops keepers who don’t have the foresight to stock that under the kitchen sink item one so desperately wanted to complete a gourmet meal that one of the many TV chef’s and there gang of assistance offer up on a Saturday morning. My old school friend, who is a long serving trooper of the culinary battlefield declares openly the these celeb chefs are either sexual deviants and do something indescribable with Monk fish, kitchen porters or swear they have been train by some foody guru, which basically means they were beaten up, sworn at, abused. All for the sake of the culinary art. He says if people really understood what goes on behind the kitchen door, they would not frequent these restaurants. But since its all been televised and society have awarded these bully boys with celebrity and hide from their small minds, the attacks, actual injury, and in some cases rape. My angry friend has said, one can serve any old shit, bung a hefty price on it. The people will rage about it, because they won’t admit that they are stupid enough to pay nine pounds for scrambled eggs with a sprinkle of chives. Dear reader if you are now thinking hmmmmmm with chives. You are lost and far beyond recovery in fact you may be a ‘the mirror’ reader and if you think like the idiot that edits the sad rag that the money grabbing Macca’s war with his disabled wife is more important than the danger our sons and daughters have to suffer because of the American fuckup in Afghanistan and Iraq. You must vote Lib Dem. What should be on the front page is a warning to Commissar Blair and his fellow Scottish communist (The Cabinet)how much shit the a special relationship we have with Bush and his military expert Donald Rumsden. Rummy seems to think that taking on several aggressive fronts is good tactics. Blair is still buying into this rubbish even after running to Bush and asking for a rerun of their chat show the last time Bush was in the poo. If we are not worried about Rummy and his funny mates, we should be. There is going to be more July the 7th’s and more loss of liberty. Am I saying that Britain has fallen for the Scottish Communist Ideal? Yes I am. Thats why Blair got the job over John Smiths choice to lead New Labour, Gordon Brown. Gordon lacked that certain something for the International stage. I say Gordon would have fucked Bush up the ass, Rummy would have looked on and Bush would not have known a thing about it. Who is your choice to act as a military buffer for the Lebanon? When do you think, the USA will blitz krieg Syria? Too difficult a question? Try page thirty of the Argos supplement. £4.48 for a must have toaster, for the guest room.